Wisdom to Know

The difference between what we can change, and what we cannot change, and therefore can only accept with serenity, can be small but can be also big in its effect on our lives. What is small to one person may be big to another; what may be unsurmoutable odds to one, may be possible to another.

The difficulties in life for Kyle Maynard would have stopped many, but not for someone with parents who have the wisdom to know what their son is capable. Hundreds and thousands have tried in vain to free India from British oppression, yet Ghandi had faith that truth will triumph over all. Half the nation believed it was impossible to change the rooted ways of slavery in the south, yet Lincoln believed in a land prepared by God for all the people, not just the priviliged few.

The wisdom to know what is possible tells us time and again that almost nothing is impossible, if we have the will, the heart, the vision and the determination to make it come true. But first, we must believe in the beauty of the vision of our own dreams. To truly believe, we must be willing to let go of everything else. It is this final step, that stopped the rich young man on his quest when he found Christ. It is easier to let go when we have nothing. It is harder than threading a camel through the eye of a needle when we cannot let go.

It is this freedom to choose according to the strength of our will, which is the most precious gift to humanity from God. Instead of a pre-determined fate, of programmed destiny, we have the freedom to choose between good and evil, between right and wrong, between giving up or digging in, between following the beauty of our distant dreams or wallowing in the comfort of today's greed.

The ancient saying is to thy own self be true, to know thyself. No matter what others may say, the final decision must necessarily be our own because we are ultimately held responsible for it. To escape responsibility is to deny the precious gift of the freedom to choose. Someone once said, freedom is only for those who wish it. When we escape from freedom, as Germans did when they relinguished control to the Nazi party, they accepted the consequences of that decision, to choose not to be free. To know the difference between what we can change, and what we cannot, requires wisdom that is more subtle and profound than what is taught in school, on television. It comes only from contemplation of our lives, in view of the Higher Power.

Courage to Change

Having the courage to change is both easier and harder than one might expect of something so powerful. The human race is unique in the animal kingdom to have so much power over one's own destiny, not only as a specie, but also as individuals. Each one of us has the power to change a great portion of our individual lives. We do it so easily, sometimes, that we often take it for granted. Yet, when we come up to an obstacle, whether from external oppression, or from internal psychological trauma, we are struck by the feeling of powerlessness, and yearn for the freedom again.

Knowing the difference between what we can and cannot change is a real blessing, because the knowledge frees us from wasting time and energy, not to mention heartache, on things we cannot change, and focus our efforts on making real changes with a much better return on investment. The power to change is also cumulative, so that each successful achievement helps to make the next change possible, and more easily accomplished. The wisdom to know the difference between what we can change, and what we cannot change is a great blessing, and King Solomon was wise to ask for that first of all.

Once we know what we can change, which usually is about ourselves, because no matter how powerful we are, no one can change another person. We can only change ourselves, and how we react to what other people do. The courage we need, is to stand up to people who intimidate, to situations that leave us vulnerable - like being left alone, to circumstances that are frightening - like being left alone in front of a hostile crowd. The courage to be true to oneself in spite of the world is the ultimate valor.

M. Scott Peck wrote in his book, "A World Waiting to Be Born", that our will is like an animal in the backyard - a strong will person is like having a team of Clydesdale horses ready to take on any task, while a weak will person is like having a little dockey, quiet and not causing any trouble. A strong and willful person may get a lot done, but can also cause a lot of destruction if not properly directed, while a weak and obedient person may not cause much trouble or none at all, there is little hope of any significant accomplishment. The key is for the strong will to be willing to submit to a Higher Power, which gives direction, stability, and continuity to make individual lives fit within the bigger picture. The courage to change is to first have the courage to submit one's own willfulness to an unknown, and perhaps unknowable (at least completely), unseen Higher Power. It is much easier to let our own selfish will to take over, and destroy anything and everything against our wishes, but much more difficult, to rein in the undiscipline will, and to serve a Higher Power, and finally in doing so, we have Triumph of the Will.

What the Nazi propaganda machine had done so successfully in the past was to twist little half-truths to suit their own agenda. It took real courage for many in Germany at the time to stand up against a tide of violence, sometimes giving up their own lives in the process. It is never easy to decide what can be changed, and what cannot. Sometimes, what one person cannot change, a multitude can wield miracles. The power of Satyagraha is the coherent force of truth that brings together people from diverse background and beliefs, and drove the most powerful nation from India after centuries of oppressive colonial rule. The power of Satyagraha is the irresistable force that finally drove underground the balant racial arrogrance of a people blessed, yet oppressed all others before them, so that a semblence of racial equality and not slavery is the accepted norm today. Until each and every heart has the courage to change, to choose wisely between the two sides of the Solzehnytsen Line, to live a life of truth and light and love, utopia is but a romantic notion that is a distant dream. Yet, when the easy power to change is found in each and every heart, the courage to bring utopia to reality is as easy as threading a camel through the eye of a needle.

Overcoming Obstacles to Truth

Courage is the beginning to overcome obstacles to living a life of truth. Just like truth, courage has been spoken of so often, that the multiplicity of its usage dilutes and confuses its meaning. In addition to the physical courage that is the traditional usage of the word, there is a higher transcendent usage of courage. A wise Greek once said that it is more courageous to vanguish one's self, than it is to vanguish a whole army. Another said, "To thy own self be true." Just as not many can live up to the latter, few can live up to the former. The courage to put aside one's old habits and explore new and unfamiliar territories, the courage to put aside one's own preconceptions of the world, the universe, and explore the possible validity of new ideas, new understanding of life, these are the sources of strength that allow the weakest among us to overcome obstacles that stopped the most valiant among us. Christ asked us to give up our own lives to follow in the example of his life. It can interpreted as the literal sacrifice of our physical lives, or a higher meaning of giving up our old self, and embrace the new, as in the parable of the old wine in the new bottle. Until we are willing to give up the old comfortable familiar preconceptions of truth, we can never embrace the new understanding that will free us from the past.

Part of the courage is also to be humble, to give up our sense of identity, our sense of achievement, our sense of knowing who we are, and accept a new definition, a new identity, a new future, as children do everyday. Christ asked us to be born again, precisely because we cannot enter the kingdom of heaven carrying the past. To be born again is to be dead of the past. It is always a frightening moment, to let go, before getting a new hand hold. Faith is to believe in the existence in spite of a lack of evidence. Courage is to do what is necessary in spite of the fear and terror. Wisdom is to know the difference between blind faith, and foolish courage. I recall a favorite saying, or perhaps prayer:

Grant me the courage to change what I can change.

Grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change.

Grant me the wisdom to know the difference.

To have courage, serenity, and wisdom everyday is to be blessed.

Sources of Obstacles to Truth

There is a story about an unusual way to boil a frog. Vegetarians with a weak stomach may want to skip to the next paragraph. It goes like this. If you heat a pot of water with a live frog in it, and you turn up the heat really fast, so the water temperature soars quickly, the frog will notice the temperature change and skip out of the pot. However, if you turn the heat up only a little, to simmer, say, then the water temperature will rise ever so slightly and so slowly that the frog would not notice, and eventually get boiled alive.

I don't know if it is a true story, and have never attempted to prove its validity. I remember it because like all useful parables and anecdotes, it has the ring of truth, and convey in poignant imagery the danger of desensitization. We are bombarded with falsehoods from all sources all the time that we become desensitized to falsehoods when confronted with it, and accept it without question. I use the term falsehood specifically refering to false information accepted blindly or deceptively as true. When a story is understood to be false, or understood to be not necessarily accurate or valid or true, then it has a place as a lesson for messages and illustrations. But when something false is held up to be true, then it is falsehood that literally murders truth. Although the complete and universal truth called by many different names cannot be defined, cannot be enumerated in any finite human language, it can be murdered by falsehoods that proclaim themselves to be true. When we tolerate little lies, and little falsehoods, we tolerate a little cut in the death by a thousand cuts of truth.

All the obstacles to truth have their origins in some aspect of falsehood that we tolerated not because we are evil or deceptive, but because we thought a little of it won't matter, is tolerable. We may be correct in that particular specific circumstance. Being human, we have free will and the ability to choose. It is when we given up our freedom to choose, to say no, that inch by inch, we cross the Solzhenitsyn Line as a result of the pulling forces from social pressure to selfish greed, that a tolerant civil society like the German Weimer Republic can create the Nazi German death camps. Without the soul-searching alarm and actions of many patriotic Americans, the Abu Grahib torture chambers could lead to much worse horrors. The mealeability of the human psyche is both one of its key strengths, and one of its key weaknesses. We can adapt because we can change ourselves to fit into any situation. Alas, some situations should not be tolerated by society. As individuals we must tolerate whatever to survive, but as a society, tolerating intolerance is, paradoxically, social suicide. A community of individuals cannot accept intolerance, must be open and inclusive to all, if it were to remain a healthy vibrant community of individuals rather than a collection of mind-numbing order-following clones that conform to a "social norm". The constitution of any long-lasting society must exclude intolerance from its foundation; otherwise, cracks will eventually form, as in the American Civil War, or the Watts Riot, or the French Riots, or the Danish Muslim protests. It is the responsibility of society, Rousseau's Sovereign, to protect the right and well-being of each individual, in exchange for each individual's submission to the authority of the State. When the State neglect its duty to give protect even one member of a minority, it has neglected its duty to all as individuals, which is the ultimate minority.

We accept little falsehoods here and there, to convince ourselves that all is well, to convince ourselves that we are better than "they". Little by little we step closer to the Solzhenitsyn Line until we cross over to the land of falsehoods, where war can be waged on false premises, based on false beliefs, and for false objectives. The late great M. Scott Peck spent a lot of time soul-searching before writing the book, People of the Lie, precisely because he feared that it might be used by people to indiscriminately accuse anyone and everyone of evil. It is so easy to demonize an enemy. It is much more difficult, and right, to love thy enemy.

The sources of obstacles to truth lie in our lack of courage to face the truth, so we accept little by little the little falsehoods that make our lives easier at the expense of living a life of truth, until one day we can no longer tell the difference, when we are lost to truth, isolated from it, cut off from the source of utopian happiness.

Obstacles to Truth

Living a life of truth is not easy. There are many obstacles. Christ's parable of the seeds sowed on different soils is but only one of many lessons about the difficulties of living a life of truth. There are seeds landing in a sandy soil, or seeds picked up by birds, or seeds landing in fertile soil but lacked constant care and watering, crowded out by weeds or dried up and withered. Only the lucky few seeds that landed on the soil that has been properly prepared, and received the daily care and attention, defended against predators and nurtured with love; these lucky few selected out of many by circumstances and serendipity, get to rise as the proverbial mustard seed to be a might tree, providing shades and comfort to all.

We should not complain that there are so few among us who are saints and leaders of the true faith, but be thankful and awed that there are in fact, miraculously so many who lived a life of truth, in spite of all the obstacles that are so common in the human experience of living.

According to M. Scott Peck in his book "People of the Lie", it took a lot of prayers and reflection before he decided to write about evil and more specifically people who do evil. He estimated that the percentage of truely evil people is around 1%. The numerical percentage is neither important nor significant to be accurate. It is not the absolute number, but the proportion relative to the rest of us. Indeed, it is reasonable to think that the central theorm of statistics applies to the spiritual qualities of the general population, just as much as it applies in terms of intelligence and other attributes. If the number of truely saintly spiritual leaders among us is so small, we should not be surprised that the number of truely evil people is also similarly small. What we are surprised by, is the effect of these relatively few, on the suffering of the world. As someone wise has once said, when good people stand by and do nothing, evil rules the world. It is why Christ taught us to be light to the world, not hidden under tables or beds, but raised high as beacons to chase away the darkness. Since it is difficult, and indeed, sometimes dangerous to live a life of truth, to shine brightly, the amount of light in the world is directly proportional to the amount of courage among the rest of us.

It takes courage to be open and vulnerable in a world filled with chaotic aggression. The Nobel Peace prize deservedly was awarded to Mikhail Gorbachev because of his immense courage and wisdom to unilaterally open up the Soviet Union with Glasnost, in a period when cloak and dagger games are played in all the countries in the world. Sometimes, the only winning strategy is not to play.

Another great spiritual leader of recent times repeatedly told us, "Be not afraid." That's the message that John Paul II told the world again and again because fear is the enemy of truth, the harbinger of lies, and the birds that steal away the seeds. When fear grips our attention and focus our energy towards protecting our vulnerabilities, we are isolated from one another, and paradoxically becoming more vulnerable to the weapons and enemies of truth.

Although most people are not evil, many of us are the owner of bad habits and bad desires. We are so ingrained with these habits and desires that we often are not aware of their effects. Most of the aggression in the world are not perpetuated by evil people, but ordinary people not knowing what they do. We are so used to being in control of our own environment, being human, that we sometimes demand to be in control, to dominate, no matter what. It is this tendency to dominate, in what ever form, physically, emotionally, mentally, that creates conflicts. Bullies dominate physically as well as verbally. Cult leaders dominate spiritually as well as emotionally. When we do not stand up to bullies, we allow their domination to permeate our lives, as the German people did in World War II, and allowed the Nazis to hijack their proud nation into evil deeds. It takes courage, and sometimes sacrifice to stand up to bullies. Yet, it also takes wisdom to discern the difference between standing up against aggression, and being the agent of aggression ourselves. There is a fine line that we must not cross - the Solzhenitsen Line that runs through every heart regardless of race, of creed, of nationality, that separates good from evil. Nazi Germany was not evil because the German people was evil, but because a few evil men took control while good men stood by and did nothing. If the Allied forces also stood by and did nothing, the world would be a far worse place to live today.

In addition to bullies, there are also liars and thieves, who are the other obstacles to people who try to live a life of truth. Obviously, liars are oppose to truth since they would be exposed. The same is true for thieves exposed to truth, their deeds become known and their ill-gotten gains become symbols of shame instead of symbols of status. Most people do not commit overt blatant acts of lying or thievery. But just as truth is difficult to define precisely, so often lies and stealing can be also ambiguous. What is important for utopia, is for each person to be clear in his or her own mind, to strive towards Satyagraha, and not be fooled by one's own desires, or social conformity, or whatever reasons. As the old adage goes, to thy ownself be true. Although Christ taught us to judge not, we are also told to be wise as scorpions, and discern the lies from the truth, to judge according to the fruits, and not be fooled by the glamour of the tree. The obstacles to Satyagraha are not external factors so much as our own response to these factors, our own fear of bullies, our own credulity to lies, and our own greed. From these inner responses to external factors, we lose our way on the road to live a life of truth.

Truth in Online Community

Returning to the original topic in this blog, reflecting on the nature of life online and real, living a life of truth is now even more poignant with the explosion of messages online. The problems with veracity online is well-known, but not only among spammers and hackers. Even a mainstream community such as Wikipedia is subject to falsehoods creeping into the millions of articles. Six Sigma is needed in Satyagraha even more urgently online than in real life.

The ambiguous nature of truth is even more evident online because the three aspects of testing truth - completeness, validity, and consistency, are even more difficult to conduct than in reality. Truth online is like soundbites on television, presented to us in small chucks, on blogs, on web pages, in email messages. None of them provide a complete big picture, and if they do, few of us has the patience, or the time to absorb, to comtemplate the messages in their totality, and weigh them against each other to find inconsistency and mismatch with reality.

Is the cultural ADD of the online population to blame for the low quality of truth in online communities? Is the media cultivated hunger for sensationalism and shock-and-awe at the root of mistrust and misunderstanding reflected in real communities? Only future social historians can debate and conclude for sure. For us living the transitional life of the Future Shock, we can only hope to ride out the Third Wave without wiping out, ourselves and the other living beings on the Big Blue Planet.

An excerpt from M.Scott Peck's Different Drum continuously resurface to my consciousness. Quoting a passage from a book, Freedom from the Known, by the Hindu mystic Krishnamurti:

"We are each one of us responsible for every war because of the aggreesiveness of our own lives, because of our nationalism, our selfishness, our gods, our prejudices, our ideals, all of which divide us. And only when we realize, not intellectually but actually, as actually as we would recognize that we are hungry or in pain, that you and I are responsible for all this existing chaos, for all the misery throughout the entire world, because we have contributed to it in our daily lives, and are a part of this monstrous society with its wars, division, its ugliness, brutality and greed-only then will we act."

What struck me and resonated with me upon reading this passage is the profound truth that it points to, cutting through all the philosophical dressing. The fundamental message of peace is simple, as simple as Ghandi's Satyagraha and John Lennon's Imagine, and its application demands more vigorous discipline than Six Sigma:

Each and every act of aggression contributes to the totality of chaos in the world.

When we can feel in empathy the pain and suffering of each and every victim, then we will act to stop aggression every where. When each lie, each falsehood is confronted as a murderous act of killing truth, then we will stop spreading lies online or otherwise. Each act to stop aggression and falsehood must be an individual's act, not by law or compulsion from without, but by conscience or empathy from within. Utopia is the day when every act of aggression, whether physical or verbal, whether mental or emotional, in whatever form, is stopped by each individual making a conscious decision not to cross the Solzhenitsen Line, when every action by each individual in the commmunity is made in the spirit of truth and love.

Truth in Community

Living a life of truth is not easy. Least of all because of the need for self-sacrifice, to do no harm, and to constantly question what is true, what is consistent, and what is valid. Since living a life of truth is so difficult, not many people try it, and those who do, often only try for a short time. Only the great spiritual leaders have been able to live a life of truth for all time, always. The goal is not to be perfect, but to struggle to be perfect. Even the best among us make mistakes. In community, we are accepted and encouraged, so that a life of truth does not become oppressive and hurtful, but instead, living a life of truth in community is liberating and protective.

One of the definitions of community used by M. Scott Peck in his book, The Different Drum, is a group of individuals who can disagree gracefully. Diverse and conflicting opinions and perspectives of truth expand the range of the community, as long as the conflicting differences do not cause harm to the integrity and unity of the whole. "Do no harm" makes it possible for a community to be more inclusive, without requiring a monotonous uniformity.

When truth is offered with loving intentions, instead of in a critical spirit, then it does no harm, and indeed, it uplifts and liberates. When truth is not concealed with a spirit of deception and preparation for war, but instead, is offered up as in the spirit of openness and vulnerability, then Satyagraha breaks down walls and barriers between people and allow them to communicate. People talk about sin all the time, but the best definition of sin that I have come across, is that "Sin is found when there is a breakdown in communication - either between God and man, or among men." Anything that can faciliate truthful communication helps to remove sin from the world.

One of the reasons that community building proceed in stages is due to the time required and the process needed in learning to communicate as a community, with openness, yet respect for one another, to have the courage and confidence to speak up, yet the empathy and compassion to listen, and most of all, to learn the rhythm of one another's style of communication, without value judgment, without any attempt to "fix" one another - to simply live, and let live. It is one of life's many mysteries, that some of the simplest truths in human experience, can be also some of the most difficult and paradoxical to live by.

Someone once said that home is a place where they have to take you in when you have no place else to go. The same can be said of community, except, they don't "have" to take you in, yet, they want to include you, as a stranger who will become one of the members. The inclusiveness of a community means that anyone who wish to be a part of it can be given the opportunity. It is a place where one does not have to hide from the truth because one is always accepted, warts and all. Indeed, when truth is the operational standard, lies have no place to anchor themselves, and will become more and more rare until they disappear except for the occasional, inevitable virtual appearances.

A community, then, is a place where it is easy to live a life of truth, to live by Satyagraha, a place where one person's freedom of expression does not infringe on another person's freedom of religion, where one person's freedom of religion does not interfere with another person's freedom to exist, where mutual respect is not just a nice phrase people pay lip service when convenient, and forget about it in a compartment somewhere in the back of the closet. There is a reason for the four stages of community formation: Pseudo-community where politeness (not respect) hides the truth, Chaos where each person fight for his or her own version of the truth as the definitive and universal one, Emptiness where the interaction between individuals is predominately one of listening with empathy and respect, where truth has a chance to be more complete, by encompassing not just one or two facets, but as many as are gifted in the group of individuals, and finally, in community, when truth is respected not as defined by one or two statements, but as the ultimate undefinable ideal that requires all of humanity, past, present and future, to grasp but a miniscule ephemeral glimpse within the much larger scope of eternity. Community formation is a process where we practice Satyagraha, to do no harm, to sacrifice one's own ego or even existence, in order to live by the principles that we collectively as humanity acknowledge as true.